So I thought I would follow a time honored tradition and reflect on the past years public arena events, well why not after all the climate of today is all about hanging your dirty washing out in public!!
I suppose we could start by saying it has been the usual sleaze in the headlines and in social media; who can we have a go at next? Who is to be the next condemned person with no apparent real crime? Who simply doesn’t know how to dress properly/ behave properly? Who has the wrong body shape, skin colour, religion, politics,culture or social class and more importantly WHO has taken it upon themselves to make these socially important decisions about what the rest of us should be doing, thinking and taking action about? But remember you can only do this in a way that pleases these perfect individuals who have decided what we lesser beings are supposed to be doing in the first place. So where to start, well in this post I thought I would look at the controversial rise of women against abuse.
So, congratulations to all those women have used the latter part of the year to grab the public arena and expose the abuse they have suffered over the years and there is absolutely no disagreement from most quarters that this abuse is outrageous and completely unacceptable. These revelations do however raise other interesting questions of moral conscience and this time it is about the women themselves and their role in the perpetuation of this abusive behaviour, such as ‘how could you sit back and watch other young actresses meet the same fate from the same disgustingly behaved individuals, especially knowing some of these women were friends/ relatives of you the abused person’? Why on earth would anyone in their right mind go to someones hotel room and sit on the bed to discuss their future career (at 16yrs my parents had made it clear that this was no place for any form of innocent liaison)- how much did you want the career, even if you did not expect the price to be so high? So lets be honest about your part in your abuse – not that you deserved the abuse but did you leave yourself open to the risk of this treatment? Before you get on your righteously indignant podium, think about is another way, I mean I should be able to go out and leave my valuables safely at home, but if I get robbed because I did not cover all security bases then I contributed to being robbed. Now whilst that is not morally right it is a fact, and the same principle applies in many other situations including abuse
And what about the support teams to these abusive individuals – was it that you were prepared to turn a blind eye for years as long as you kept your job and/ were paid handsomely to keep quiet, is that why you were complicit in enabling these assaults to take place, because lets be honest you certainly were not naively innocent? I feel that whilst we rightly condemn the behaviour of these men and accept that they alone were responsible for their behaviour, if this type of abuse is to stop there is a need for everyone to acknowledge their role in enabling it to take place and that means everyone with the slightest link whatever their gender/ role, be they victim, bystander or perpetrator.
When looking at how abuse is facilitated I feel another area we need to review is that of who creates the public image of these celebrities. Lets be honest we have celebrities who gain their status because they have a talent, then there are those who have it bestowed upon them whether or not they want it, simply because they are related to a celebrity. Of course we also have those who actually don’t have a talent but are prepared to do anything to get into the public arena for example behaving badly on programs such celebrity big brother/ the Jeremy Kyle show.
It has to be said that we the general public play a big part in that development, we follow the badly behaved and the more badly behaved people are, the better; what does that tell us about ourselves? Well I would venture to suggest it tells us what bully’s we are and how in reality much though we have this ‘let’s care about each other veneer’ really there are things in which we are self serving and we enjoy seeing the discomfort and distress of others; we do of course console ourselves with the thought that’ well they are getting a load of money for this suffering’ and they volunteered themselves. Perhaps we should be thinking more about should we even be watching this type of ‘entertainment’, perhaps we need to ask ourselves if that’s why the abuse in the entertainment world and other areas of life perpetuates – because we subconsciously think -‘ it’s OK if they get paid loads of money’.
Then we have the image makers, those who make a fortune persuading celebrities it is in their interests to wear as little as possible in public and to pay a fortune for it! It seems to me the less fabric their is in an outfit these days the more expensive it is. These people are just as abusive, tell me when we last saw the creators of these ‘daring’ outfits actually wearing one themselves – you will struggle hard to find one, also how many of these image makers are men deciding how women should dress. Why do we accept that women are dressed to sell sex but the guys continue to turn up looking good in the tux / suit. Let’s be honest you don’t see the male singers gyrating on stage and almost naked and yet not only do they sell songs, attract mass following most of them last much longer than the women. You watch a new female star develop on stage and before you know it she’s gone from ‘the girl next door look’ to the tart released from the boudoir!! If you need to expose yourself to sell your record it doesn’t say much about the song. So what’s the deal, think about it, is it ‘Hey great song, you’ve got a great future but you’ll need to get your kit off if you really want to be big in the music industry’?
The nearest you get for the guys is this pointless need to grab their own crotch as part of their dance/ to expose their chests. But the women – no they have to simulate sex and almost fully expose themselves in the sad belief that this is glamorous – it isn’t its abuse by your image makers, ask yourself when you agreed to get on stage minus your kit!! Look at some of the music videos without listening to the music, just turn the volume down and watch them then ask yourself would you be happy to watch this in mixed company/ with your parents/ children or people you barely knew if there was no volume, having asked many young people this very question I can tell you the most likely answer is no because it looks more like a porn video when you take out the song. Take a lead from Adele – she looks great and she has a great voice but the other thing she still has is HER KIT ON!!
So who is responsible for the abuse that takes place in the world of entertainment – well I guess we all have a role to play from the pushy mothers who want their child on the stage or who want their child in modeling to the existing celebs who having suffered so much abuse are ‘happy’ to send their children down the same career path, it saddens me so much to see the offspring of celebs walking down the catwalk – think of the risks of abuse that you know about let alone the damage you are doing to them in the way they look at their image and body. What values are you instilling in them? It’s sad that we don’t see the kids of celebs who have non entertainment world careers, your world has become so incestuous it is unhealthy.
Anyway I digress, but food for thought all the same. So where do we go from here on the issues of abuse of women? What steps should we be taking to protect individuals? Well lets start by women accepting responsibility for making their own crass decisions, women have argued for many years that they are capable of making their own decisions, now they need to show they are capable of living with the consequences of those decisions – that doesn’t make it right but it’s what being independent and grown up is all about.
Today’s women have many advantages over women in previous years, they are more healthy, better educated, more liberated, more financially independent, more vocal and more confident than the women before them but still they have many of the same issues. Women are in many ways their own worst enemy because they are ‘first class bitches’! It is mainly women in the social media who criticise women about how they look – who is it who writes the fashion fails and successes of the week – women! Who gives a shit, if the women were happy wearing the clothes what business is it of anyone else.What gives these females the power to condemn someone for their choice of clothing?
It is women who have the most to say about how other women should conduct their relationships and who they should have a relationship with. What is the gender of the people writing about who was seen in the company of who and what that might mean for their marriage/ relationship – these women used to be called shit stirrers and marriage wreckers, but now they are seen a ‘ professional journalists’ I don’t think so, they are still shit stirrers and marriage wreckers only now the media pays them. They need to ask themselves how responsible they are for the success or failure of many relationships they have ‘reported’ on and how much of their report is based on personal views, jealousy and lining their own pockets, lets be honest you don’t see apologies when they get it wrong.
It is women who take it upon themselves to make other women feel guilty or inadequate about how they raise their children- look at things such as mumsnet – since when did they become the authority on child rearing? What gives them the right to damn the child rearing decisions of others? Are they the special few who have their children delivered with the instruction manual? Frankly I don’t see what is sooooo great about seeing pregnant celebs nearly naked and showing the bump, like other pregnant women when celebs get pregnant they will get a bump and they will get fat and sick and feel awful some days so perhaps the average female might appreciate seeing them in that state. For heavens sake leave people to have some shred of privacy and decency. Once again it is invariably women who get onto this gossip bandwagon.
On TV and in the public arena we have moved into this touchy feely press and discussion programs – not because we really want to be touchy feely but because we can get people crying on TV – ask yourself where do you go when you cry? Most people have a private place they cry in so why do we now have female news reporters asking inane questions such as asking bomb survivors how they feel – how the hell do you think they feel!! In addition women reporters feel compelled to use their public arena to voice THEIR opinion – NO we just want the facts, we can make our own judgements.
So ladies, if women want to be taken seriously then perhaps they should be seen to be focusing on the important things in life and not the crap you keep churning out as females. Should they really be worried about the shape of their eyebrows or should they be checking out why homeless young women cannot get sanitary products when they need them?? Should they be getting into serous degrees rather than all these soft social policy degrees that actually do not lead to a career
So steps for 2018 –
Stop blaming men,believe me they have to take responsibility for their own actions to
Stop having transgender women deciding women’s issues, their needs, experiences and issues are different. All the issues around LGBT etc should have an arena of their own. Transgender females deciding women’s issues smacks of the Trojan horse approach.
Stop the bitching about other women, leave other women to get on with their lives and accept their own responsibilities so if that’s how you earn your living you are one of the abusers and need to get yourself a ‘proper’ job
Refocus on what women can seriously offer the world believe me there is a lot, but women need to stop using their sexuality when they think it will be to their advantage and then complain that men only see them as sexual beings when it is not to their advantage. Sort out the sexuality thing for women and the advancement of women’s causes with progress rapidly.
I believe women are letting themselves down, if they want respect they need to stop hanging their dirty washing out, stop exposing themselves for the gratification of others and get some self respect and decency back into the world of women.
Don’t blame the men for accepting everything you have offered- you gave them all the opportunities they wanted and you gave them control. No we don’t live in a misogynistic world we live in a world where women continue too use their body to get what they want and their mouths to put down and decry other women. Women remain manipulative, if they are to progress men must change they way they treat women but women must be more consistent and less manipulative – used to be called ‘womenly wiles’
Men have some serious issues to address but if as women you do not reflect on your own shortcomings nothing will change.
2018 IS NOW UNDERWAY, LETS SEE IT BE THE YEAR WHERE WE MAKE A FAIR AND BALANCED APPROACH TO EQUALITY OF THE GENDERS